i got caught in the rain and fell in love. i came back to life today; i died again today. i drank the dark sky and sweat on my lips without a thought of you. i was buried in the sea without a headstone. i don’t think i’ll need one.

give me a name in your own way, when you hear the gulls and thunder. in the winter, when you walk on snowy shores, remember me. whisper to me in bed, alone. in the springtime float me a little boat, made from sicks and string. that will make me happy.

there isn’t much time, i know, to tell you what i really want to say. i died today; i lived today. a million fears were washed away and i let them go because i had to. sleep my dear. my heaven’s coming down. if you wake make sure to smile, ’cause if you cry you’ll drown.

Confession

i spoke. those words drew blood from my stomache. the sounds cut my throat, my pride and the silence of shame- like a child on a swingset cuts through the air, coming down a demon, but up an angel. i keep rising… now, you know. what fear is there with love? and your sweetness follows, heart of my heart. let that true spirit, soaked with the rain of forgiveness, speak in the wind, in the trees, in the eyes of a child, by the bed on our knees with tears and joy and peace like the night and hope like the day and salvation for those who believe.

addiction

i feel like a criminal.
the black flat dark of my room lifts it’s grain in a swirl of shadow. my chest seems so heavy. i feel like a toad, like some kind of rat, a coward. there’s a thin film of sweat on the backs of my thighs and i don’t care. it’s so hot. the creases in my shirt feel like sandpaper. someone must have filled my head with brillo.
a thousand friends come visit. they hate me. in my ash tray bed they laugh and tell stories about wet confetti and doctors, green and red and black, like their eyes, teeth like floodlights yellowed and cracked, plastic and hollow. your beauty fades so fast.
i’ve burnt so many nights like matchsticks, like a shriveled retina desk jockey, swaying back and forth, eyes between his fingers. give me a cold shower, please! snap out of it! i can never blink in time. the door is shut and i’ve let you down again.